On this Throwback Thursday, we’re talking about plus size modeling. Let me tell you about one of the most interesting times in my life.

It’s April, 2007. My hair is a interesting three-step mix of blonde, red, and black. Popular songs on my iPod include “MakeDamnSure”, “Umbrella”, and “Pop, Lock & Drop It”. My Centennial Wireless cell phone with the sweet colored backlit screen plays “Laffy Taffy” for the ringtone. I’m in an odd space of my life where I feel pressured to normalize and settle down, yet uninhibited and raw in equal measure.

I’ve recently developed a healthy interest in photography – specifically, alternative / boudoir style – and found an online community of like-minded ladies representing the plus size niche.

Plus Size Modeling

(Yes, back in those days, plus size modeling really was a small, obscure niche. This was before body positivity movements sweeping social media, before “influencers” were even a thing… Hell, this was back when it was still a big deal and a three-hour-drive to shop at a Torrid store.)

Equipped with a new Sony Cybershot point-and-shoot camera (with a whopping 8.1 megapixels!) and an industrial painting light from Menards, we started shooting pictures.

This particular shoot was my first experience with ridiculously big false eyelashes. The dress came from a Lane Bryant Christmas clearance rack for about $8. I was so proud of that deal, even though it felt too flashy for me to be comfortable wearing in public. And the dramatic setting was just the bedroom of a best friend who supported giggling fat girls having a good time.

Anything considered artistic coming out of it was probably by accident. But we weren’t necessarily doing it for art.

This might be hard to explain, but when you experience a sense of worthiness in your own eyes, something changes in your brain. This is especially true after you’ve spent your life on the outside of “normal” beauty standards.

To feel at ease, and even proud, with yourself in your most vulnerable capacity is so elevating.

Call it what you want: body positivity, empowerment, inclusiveness, social justice, or even just smut. Whatever. We had so much fun. Shooting photos with my best friends all over that gorgeous old house, playing with makeup and staying up half the night… It will always be one of the best times of my life.

Stay tuned to my Throwback Thursday posts for more plus size modeling adventures!