Hey, I’m Maranda.

I’m a green-eyed, left-handed female: a combo that occurs in less than 0.2% of the world’s population. I was born and raised in small-town Michigan, then moved to rural South Carolina at 30 years old. I have an incredible husband and children with paws. I love rocks and crystals and shells and vintage glassware and metal music. But I suppose that doesn’t tell you who I am.

If you’re into astrology, I’m a Gemini. If you follow personality types, I’m INTJ-T. Definitely an introvert. I’m not religious in a traditional sense, but I’m open-minded. I’d like to believe there’s more to life than being just a speck of existence within the universe. I feel most spiritually connected and at peace with myself when I’m by the ocean. But, again, that’s not entirely who I am.

I’m fat. I’ve been fat for as long as I can remember. I’ve tried not to let it define me, but have come to the realization that it has, quite literally, shaped much of my personality. My physical appearance has been a source of both embarrassment and empowerment throughout my life, depending on the setting and the company I keep. It is a very big part of me (pun intended), but not totally who I am.

I’m nerdy. I was a total outcast but did great in school. I still love to read before bedtime. I’m a gamer, and I especially enjoy MMORPG’s and god-complex builder sims. Wi-Fi is my lifeline. As a freelance graphic designer, I’ve cultivated the ability to work from home and only leave the house a few times each week. This obviously contributes to my socially-inept geekiness, but it still doesn’t explain who I am.

I’m awkward and super shy (i.e. social anxiety). Few people have ever truly known the real me. If they were asked to describe me, I’d imagine they’d say I have a sarcastic sense of humor, a complicated disposition, and I swear a lot. I’ve had clinical depression, anxiety, and diagnosed OCD since I was a 13-year-old suicide risk. But there’s gotta be more to who I am, right?

I’m the kind of person you can tell anything to without fear of judgement. I’m the kind of person who takes a very long time to open up with others. I’m the kind of person that’s creative but always second-guessing my work. I’m the kind of person who’s scared of rejection for telling you who I am.

I am the sum of all my convoluted, twisting parts, peppered with flaws.

I decided to start this blog to serve as accountability for mindful reflection; a technological connection to my soul, so to speak. I will share, maybe even over-share about what I see, experience, feel, wear, etc.

I want to live authentically… but I’m not quite sure what that is yet.

Maybe, in time, I will be able to confidently answer the question: who am I?